i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
