these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize