i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
