he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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