well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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