You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Damn victory sex feels great
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
