At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
