what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
