Duck Duck Cougar?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
