Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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