i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize