sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
