just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
