Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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