haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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