Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
