omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
