If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
