I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
