kristin has been a bad kristin
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
