I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
