I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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