i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
