Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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