what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize