Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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