cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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