Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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