My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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