I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
