Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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