Pappa wants mamma naked
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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