Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
