O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
