best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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