I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
