If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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