I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
