im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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