just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
