did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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