I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
