Screwed.edu
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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