He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize