Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
