Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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