the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
