Porn is love you can see.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
