I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
