I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
