Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
