No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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