I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
