a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think my moral compass just broke
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