I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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