The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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