Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
