Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
