i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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