Me. At least after what I've been through.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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