so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
whose ass print is on the piano?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
