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• (631): View more from New York

  dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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• (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

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• (951): View more from California

  So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

  (909): View more from California

  dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when that happens

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?

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• (+52): View more from Mexico

  I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Just had my very first high conversation with mom

  (541): View more from Oregon

  And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch

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