can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
