If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
