I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize