What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
