You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
