Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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(904): View more from Florida

He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".

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(513): View more from Ohio

u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

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(360): View more from Washington

We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?

(408): View more from California

JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.

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