I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
