I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
