Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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