I'm drive I can fine osifer
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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